Outsider or member of my family?

02. July 2017 Uncategorized 11

           A common theme for intercultural relationships is the  discrepancy of  identity status, that creates a distance between partners. This can stay invisible to the partner who lives within his cultural group and  sees  each situation applying his/her cultural code.

“ I feel that I don’t really have a place   … The family treats me as a guest… and I didn’t speak the language anyway.  I feel often misunderstood  by my husband and my in-laws, isolated from  my family of origin, and my husband  would say that everything was just “too complicated” to explain. [Maria]

When people decide to get married, the issues emerge fast.

”I feel like we were thrown in the middle of the ocean on a  small boat  without any navigating tools” ( Mishell).

” I wish I spent  more time with his family before marriage  to learn about his background. I would have more understanding about his expectation, values” (Paula).

Every  relationships have  challenging times  that can be seen as learning process to create a stronger bonds between the partners. The most important things are your love, patience,  and desire to learn how to make your relationship better.  


11 thoughts on “Outsider or member of my family?”

  • 1
    Chappy Krauthoff on July 9, 2017 Reply

    Very nicely put. You hit the nail right on the head.

    • 2
      admin on July 10, 2017 Reply

      Thank you for your kind words!

  • 3
    Rex Wee on July 10, 2017 Reply

    Indeed. We are humans and we all crave relationship with others. And every relationship require time and effort to cultivate and build. There’s sacrifice we need to make for each other before we reap the harvest from those relationships. Thanks for this great post!

    • 4
      admin on July 11, 2017 Reply

      Thank you for you comment, Rex. Indeed, love takes hard work, but the effort and sacrifice we put into connecting and working on our love is worth it.

  • 5
    Alice Bowmaker on July 24, 2017 Reply

    I think this a very interesting topic, and great insight that you have. Thanks for sharing.

    • 6
      admin on July 24, 2017 Reply

      Alice, Thank you for your comment. I glad that you found some useful information on my site!

    • 7
      admin on July 31, 2017 Reply

      You are welcome, Alice. Thank you for your input.All the best.

  • 8
    Alice Bowmaker on July 24, 2017 Reply

    I think that you have great insight into such a specific area of relationships.

  • 9
    admin on July 31, 2017 Reply

    Thank you for reading!

  • 10
    BingC on August 20, 2017 Reply

    I understand how one feels about this subject. I think everyone has that feeling of being an outsider depending on the situation during any sort of disagreement especially when there are more than two people involved.

    • 11
      admin on August 21, 2017 Reply

      Sometimes we just have to learn about ourselves and about people we love to understand our emotions…

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