A common theme for intercultural relationships is the  discrepancy of  identity status, that creates a distance between partners. This can stay invisible to the partner who lives within his cultural group and  sees  each situation applying his/her cultural code.

“ I feel that I don’t really have a place   … The family treats me as a guest… and I didn’t speak the language anyway.  I feel often misunderstood  by my husband and my in-laws, isolated from  my family of origin, and my husband  would say that everything was just “too complicated” to explain. [Maria]

When people decide to get married, the issues emerge fast.

”I feel like we were thrown in the middle of the ocean on a  small boat  without any navigating tools” ( Mishell).

” I wish I spent  more time with his family before marriage  to learn about his background. I would have more understanding about his expectation, values” (Paula).

Every  relationships have  challenging times  that can be seen as learning process to create a stronger bonds between the partners. The most important things are your love, patience,  and desire to learn how to make your relationship better.  

11 thoughts on “Outsider or member of my family?

  1. Indeed. We are humans and we all crave relationship with others. And every relationship require time and effort to cultivate and build. There’s sacrifice we need to make for each other before we reap the harvest from those relationships. Thanks for this great post!

    1. Thank you for you comment, Rex. Indeed, love takes hard work, but the effort and sacrifice we put into connecting and working on our love is worth it.

  2. I understand how one feels about this subject. I think everyone has that feeling of being an outsider depending on the situation during any sort of disagreement especially when there are more than two people involved.

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