Sex May Be at the Core of Many Problems That Makes Couples Feel Disconnected.
Couples may feel disconnected in many ways. Sex is a salient example. Research and statistics show that couples with no sex in their relationship usually are not very long-lasting.
Sex may be at the core of many problems couples face, yet without guidance from a therapist, the role of sex in these problems may be hard to establish.
Many couples don’t ‘t know how to approach sexual topics. Failed attempts to resolve differences in the levels of their desires may create a wall of avoidance and bitterness.
Some have a tendency to jump to wrong conclusions after finding themselves unable to have a frank discussion with their partner.
They may conclude that no progress is possible.
They may seek to make their partner happy at the price of their own misery. They may end up feeling disconnected, despite all outside appearances to the contrary.
Why is it so difficult for partners to find connection?
Lack of intimacy in marriage can stem from many causes.
- Lack of communication and negotiation skills
- High level of stress
- Previous negative experiences
- Low self-esteem
- Lack of emotional connection
- Resentment from earlier unresolved disputes in the relationship, etc.
Some adults have no history of close emotional connection in childhood. They may continue the problem in their new relationship and habitually turn away from their partners.
Research shows a failure to connect as a major cause of divorce (John Gottman, Ph.D).
And the cost of divorce is high. It not only creates higher level of stress but also raises the chances of illness more than 35% and shorters life expectancy (J. Gottman, Ph.D)
Learning how to communicate and to respond better to each other’s and one’s own needs is possible.
Establishing emotional and intimate connection can solve conflicts and create happier and healthier environments for couples.